I’m about a week out from my first miscarriage and I’m absolutely heart broken.

Last Monday I woke up in the middle of the night vomiting and in the worst pain I’ve experienced in since I shattered my ankle in high school. I was bleeding very heavily and was very dizzy and nauseous. This continued for several hours and I wound up having to call into work. Where I work if you call in you must bring a Drs excuse so the day went on and I went to the dr. Getting to the doctor they go through the normal pre-visit check, “how much do you weigh?” “What is your height” they took my blood pressure then I was asked, “ When was your last period?” So being me I pulled up my app, now I’m the type of person that is very religious about tracking my period in this app. So I pulled up the calendar I noticed that my period was over a month late. I told the doctor that I wasn’t really sure when the last period was because I think I may have missed tracking it, she asked if I minded them taking blood for a pregnancy test. I told her no problem. We went through the visit and she just diagnosed me with a stomach bug, but I knew there was something wrong so I called my ObGyn. She asked me when I knew for sure my last period was. I told her I didn’t remember having one last month but with my dad just passing away I genuinely couldn’t remember if I had one. So I decided to go into her office. My test came back positive and my heart sank. She told me she needed to do a cervical exam to make sure she didn’t need to do anything extra to help me pass it. After the exam she gave me a pain medication for the cramping and told me to take it easy for a couple of days. So I went home and I was going through an overnight maxi pad in 2 1/2 hours. This remained steady for 2 days then it finally stopped.

I honestly don’t know how to deal with all of this grief. First my dad passed and now I’ve lost my baby. I feel so lost and confused. I told my fiancé I feel like a fraud because I don’t recognize myself. I feel like a stranger in my own body and mind. Has anyone else ever experienced this and does anyone have any advice? I just need help I feel like I’m going insane.