What do you do when youre so depressed and never feel good enough and feel ugly and fat. I lost like 17 lbs on my diet and if you look at my comparison photos I do look a lot better. But even before i gained this weight I still felt ugly and fat. Sometimes I think my boyfriend is who makes me feel this way because he is constantly watching porn behind my back and it just makes me feel like I'm not what he wants to look at. We have been together for almost 7 years. I know I have depression and anxiety issues due to my mental illness. Idk what the cause of all this is. It would be great if I just felt beautiful and sexy though. It would make me feel so much better if I knew that I was something that someone would want to look at. If i knew I was valued and respected. I feel like I am annoying background noise in everyones life. My opinions dont matter. My feelings dont matter. I'm not pretty or sexy enough for my boyfriend to have sex with me more than he masturbates. Sometimes I think about making an Instagram for risque photos just to test it but then i feel ashamed for even thinking that. I was raised in a home where sex was extremely shunned because of our religion. I just dont know who i am anymore and i dont know how to feel good about myself at all.