But you have been the trigger of my depression.

Everytime I look at you, I see resentment. I see disappointment. I see failure. Everytime.

You tell me to focus on the positive things in life and yet remind me of how crappy life has been to us. There's no happy medium.

You tell me you're here for me, but you're not. We spend days apart and see each other maybe a few times a week. You go off and have fun while I bounce between houses trying to hang on to a job that doesn't give a damn about my high risk pregnancy.

When you ask me about how I feel and I answer, it upsets you. Well it upsets me, too. Always feeling this way... but you know what's worse? Venting and still feeling like the bad guy for having feelings. If I was numb, I'd feel better.

So Husband... I love you. But you're my trigger. I can't stand to be around you, but I miss you.

I'm so lost.