Pumper who wants to try bread feeding again

So I've been pumping for 3 month. The first month and a half I pumped and nursed. I had a hard time getting my milk to come in and babe wasnt stimulating my breast like he should to get it working....so lactation consultant said pump. Also, it hurt so bad when he nursed on my right breast....everytime I tried. Fast forward to 3 month and today I was just feeling down for not trying to keep up with breastfeeding. I missed that closeness we had when he fed like that and now hes been using a bottle long enough that he refused my breast. I was just feeling sad about it today. I know and am grateful he is getting my breastmilk any way he can, but will kind of just feeling down about not being able to breastfeed anymore.