July has been a very rough month for me and due to all the stress going on its caused my depression to come back up. I've been pretty good at managing it up til this point. But I've hit a really bad low due to everything going on.

First 2 weeks ago at 28 weeks I end up spending a night in L&D for high blood pressure. 3 days later I get diagnosed with preeclampsia from everything the tested with the hospital stay.

This week I had one of my nonstress test appointments. My fiance decided to go with me and for some reason we spent the entire car ride fighting and he felt the need to pretty much call me lazy and point out a ton of things he thinks I'm doing wrong. Just because I'm not keeping up with the house work as much cause I'm hurting all the time and I'm trying to rest. Then on the way home his mother messages me asking how my appointment went. I told her everything and she asked if I remembered to ask the doctor if I could travel (they live 220 miles away in another state). I forgot to ask told her I would ask on Thursday. She then got all upset because she somehow assumed we would come out there for the weekend because my daughters 3rd birthday is on Friday. Even though MY mother already has a party planned on Saturday.

So after more arguments with the fiance and being guilted that we dont see his family as much and a call to my doc office to get the ok to travel 6 hours in a car. We now have to take an impromptu trip to see his family. And my moms party for my daughter has to be moved to the following weekend.

And today I go to have paperwork filed to have my fiance's name added to my daughters birth certificate. That process is done through the Child support agency in my state. I get home from doing that and my fiance flips out gets mad at me starts yelling at me that saying they're gonna make him pay child support and I'm stupid for doing that. Making me feel aweful. To the point I called the agency to tell them to cancel the application on speaker phone and they reassure me that the application wont create a child support case against him because they cant pursue him for it because we live together/same adress when filing. So the process will only be for establishing paternity and adding his name.

After words he hugged me but didnt apologized for being so mean. He said some very hurtful things to me. Including accusing me of wanting to leave him and take my child and get him for child support.

He got that idea from his mother cause he called her after he was done yelling at me and before I called the agency and his mother made the comment that I'm conspiring with my mother who isnt a fan of him to leave him and take my daughter away from him.

So now I feel like crap, pregnancy hormones and depression is running really high right now. And after hearing what his mother thought of me I dont want to go spend the weekend with them.

I feel so bad cause I know I'm still going to be struggling with this depressive episode on my daughters birthday. And my original plans to spend the day with my daughter and taking her shopping and getting her a cake and taking her to her favorite place the park are all out the window. We will be traveling 6 hours in a car with crappy a/c the night before her birthday then I'm sure running around the town they live in taking her tons of places the day of her birthday then returning the day after 6 hours home. Calculate in I'm 31 weeks pregnant. We will have to stop for breaks, I'm high risk so I cant overexert myself.

Thanks for sticking with my rant.