I need help

I just want to go back to Colorado I miss my cousins and aunt too much. I hate it here. I have no friends I am bullied and I just want to kill myself. I am extremely depressed and I have such bad anxiety. My life would be so much better and easier if I lived with my cousins, my only wish in the world would be to have them as my brother and sisters and my currant family as my aunt and uncle. I can’t do this anymore I don’t get to see them for another year Mabey even 2. They are my lifeline. I am so done with my life please help me. To top it all off my parents can get a counselor for my sister but not me. I have only my cousins to talk to. I just need my whole life to just stop.