Utterly lost

I am 13 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby.

Last week we went for our 12 week scan and were told our baby as a fatal abnormality. It won’t survive outside of the womb.

I am now booked in for a medical termination (hate that word) next week.

After long discussions with the drs, my husband and family we know we are doing what is best for the baby.

I am lost though. Totally heartbroken. I have no more tears left to cry. I’m not looking for sympathy but I just don’t know where to turn to at the moment. Our baby has a condition that is so rare that only 1 in 100,000 women go through it.

The drs say at least you can get pregnant and you are young. But it seems I can’t stay pregnant.

Life has changed so much in a week. We were so happy and now once again our life has fallen apart.