Dear Dad

What have I done to bother you so much? I never realized it was so bad until mom put me in therapy when I was 12. I wouldn't speak, but when he asked about you and our relationship I broke down. I never knew it affected me so badly. I was depressed, but I hid it from everybody and continue to do so. It would only bother you anyway.

Here I am 10 years later crying as I write this, realizing that things never got better and never will. Since moving in I cook you dinner whenever mom isn't home, we keep to ourselves, I buy you food that mom won't, and bring your granddaughter out to see you often. You absolutely adore her. Your face beams with joy the second you lay your eyes on her. I've never seen that look.

I don't understand why everything I do bothers you. You and Mom watched our little girl while we went grocery shopping yesterday. When we got home I handed my daughter one of her toys, but "she was playing just fine by herself" according to you.

You have to comment on every action i take towards her, my pets, or my fiancé. It always bothers you.

Aside from this you are a great father. You work so hard, and have made sure we would never have to go without. We do have fun together, it's not all bad. But at the end of the day it always comes back down to this. I'm supposed to be your little girl. The first girl in 50 years on either side of our family.

Why does everything I do bother you?