Ok so I’ve been friends with this girl for 2 years and the only reason we became friends is because I switched schools and she was one of the only people who made an effort to talk to me so I sort of latched onto her and we’ve been best friends ever since. Although there have been a lot of things that have happened the past 2 years that made me question why I’m even friends with her:

1. She points things out about me that I’m insecure about. Whether it’s something that I said or did or a physical feature, it seems like she has to have an opinion on it, even if I didn’t ask for it. I remember once that I came to a school event wearing a new skirt and she flat out said “I don’t like your skirt” as if I wouldn’t even care. And obviously I care since first of all, I like the skirt, and second of all, I didn’t ask her what she thought of it so it caught me off guard. I told her “what exactly do you want me to do about it right now?” I was 30 minutes away from my house and I didn’t have a change of clothes so I don’t know what she was trying to achieve by saying that. She just said “idk I just don’t like it” really defensively as if I was the one at fault. She does this a lot but not enough to the point where it’s toxic or hurts my self esteem. I have enough self confidence that I don’t care about what she says but it’s still annoying anyway since friends are supposed to be supportive.

2. She constantly rubs her accomplishments in my face. She knows that I’m struggling with chemistry and how stressed it’s been making me but every time we have a test she talks about how she aced it all day and says stuff like “you failed it? But it was so easy” knowing very well that this class has not been easy for me. I asked one of my other friends about it and apparently she doesn’t get a lot of attention at home so when she’s at school she wants to feel smarter than everyone and one-up people constantly so that she’ll always be on top and always get praised for it. I understand where she’s coming from but that doesn’t excuse her actions.

3. She doesn’t say sorry. Ever. Unless you count the times when she aggressively says stuff like “jeez, I’m sorry ok?” After someone calls her out on her bullshit and she gets all defensive. We’re sharing a room at a hotel right now and she was cleaning up her side of the room and I told her to not throw away any of my shopping bags because I still had stuff in them. Well she did anyway (and I always put spare change in my my bags) so she ended up throwing away about $50 worth of cash. When I told her there was money in there she was just like “oof that’s sucks” like...not even a sorry? Wtf? This happens all the time too, this is just the most recent one. Also I took a break while writing this and now I have another thing to add: I left the room and told her I’d be back in an hour. In an hour I came back and rang the bell, no response. I rang another 5 times and waited but got no response. So I went to the gym and worked out for a while figuring she was just asleep. I came back an hour later and she got mad that I went to the gym without her so I told her it was because she wouldn’t open the door and I would much rather have been in the room. She said she was on the balcony and insisted that she didn’t do anything wrong because there’s no way she could’ve heard me even though I told her when I would’ve back! And no she didn’t apologize for not letting me in either and now she won’t talk to me since I worked out without her. And I’m not gonna be the one who apologizes again, either she apologizes or gets over herself and handles this situation like an adult because I’m so sick of saying sorry when it should be her.

4. She promotes harmful habits. I never got drunk or wanted to get drunk until I met her. I never vaped or smoked weed until she told me I should. I’ve gone behind my parents back and done tons of things that are bad for me because of her. I got blackout drunk and almost died from alcohol poisoning at her house because I told her I’ve never been drunk before. She insisted I keep going (this was at a party btw) until I took over 10 shots. I started throwing up profusely and crying and by this time the alcohol started to wear off a bit and all I can remember is her telling me to shut up and that I was overreacting. And to this day she talks about how funny it was when I was crying saying “I drank way too much and I’m not okay”. She ignored me when I said I needed help and laughed at me instead. When she brings it up I laugh along with her but little does she know how badly it hurts to have your friend ignore you when you’re in a state like that. Also the other night I was vaping (she’s the one who got me started, shocker ik 🙄) and I said that I wasn’t feeling a buzz anymore so she said that I might need to do more. I kept going and I started to feel sick and a bit lightheaded and I told her but she said it was all in my head. I was a newbie and she’s been doing this for a while so I trusted her and kept going until I told her I felt seriously nauseous and thought I would pass out. I asked if this was a common side effect and she said that it wasn’t possible to vape too much and get side effects so I was probably just psyching myself out. I know my body and I know that this was real and not all in my head so I told her and she didn’t believe me. I’m surprised she even waited for me before walking home because I honestly felt too sick to even get up from where I was sitting. She said “I don’t want this to turn you off from vaping, it’s actually really fun. You probably just ate something weird” but the thing is, the only thing I ate was plain pasta and I had that like 4 hours ago at that point. I know I was sick from the vaping and she refused to admit that was why I was sick because she didn’t want me to stop vaping for some reason. I don’t care what she says, I’m done vaping and I’m done drinking and I hate the things that I put my body through because of her. Also I looked it up and it actually IS possible to vape too much and nausea is a common side effect.

5. She never keeps her word and only cares about herself. She makes promises and constantly breaks them for stupid reasons. She makes plans and backs out because she’s “tired” and I get that but this is her excuse for EVERYTHING. She doesn’t care about other people moving their plans around to accommodate to her schedule but god forbid if she has to.

6. I feel different around my other friends. I went to summer camp this summer and met so many amazing people from around the world who make me feel happy and like I’m not walking on eggshells. I didn’t know friendship could feel like that and it’s the best feeling in the world. Then I come back to go on vacation with my best friend and I feel uneasy again. I constantly think about how much happier Id be if was still at camp.

I’m going back to school soon and all I’ll have is her. I go to a small school and no one else is going to want to be friends with me if they aren’t already. I don’t know what to do, please help me.