Shes gone. TRIGGER WARNING.

Im finally ready to share...

April 14th 2019 i fpund out i was expecting my first child with my husband. I have 2 amazing kids from a previous relationship.

Everything was perfect the first 2 appointments... i was scared to restart at that moment. I never saw my self having kids by more than one man.. but he helped me through a abusive relationship an i love him... he quickly became my best friend an we had been trying for so long with no success. We had been through 2 'chemical pregnancies.' As well. But anyway. I found out at 9weeks by genetic testing we was expecting a girl. We all was happy... my daughter was so excited to finally have a sister... my son was happy he wasnt gonna have to share a room 😂 i was just happy everyone else was happy an excited to have another daughter. My husband wanted a boy but he was okay with another girl.

July 12th 2019..

I had some spotting.. but having 2 other kids it was normal. No pain just a little bit of spotting but little did i know. This was the beginging of a hellacious 2 weeks...

July 14th.

I woke up at 430am. There was bleeding like the beggining of a period. An cramps. I knew something was wrong. I was 18wks an 2days.

My dad drove me to a little country hospital. Little did i know they didnt have an ultrasound machine.

7:00am They found the heartbeat on our baby. I was so happy. But they said i needed to go to another hospital. So i left out for a bigger city.

The bleeding picked up.

10am. I got to the hospital. An i went to the bathroom. Had a feeling of needing to poop so i pushed a little.

SOMETHING ALMOST FELL OUT OF ME.

I ran to the nurses station an told them. They quickly got me back. (Id been waiting for an hr anyway.)

But... they looked... nothing was there. It was sucked back up.

Little did i know yall... it was the amniotic sac.

They left me for 4 an a half hrs. Alone.

Tech got there an did ultrasound.

I knew something wasnt right...

I figured i just needed a cercloge. But little did i know...

Dr came in an hr later an said 'theres not a heartbeat. We are releasing you. An if you pass ' 'it' on your own its okay. If not see your doctor first thing tomorrow.' So i left.. the amniotic sac dropped again. I showed my aunt but we couldnt figure out what it was.

I went home... i sung to my baby girl one last time... i rubbed my belly an told her how much we love her. I went to sleep. 11pm.

July 15th 3am.

I woke up with a pain an i knew she was gone. I knew it was time. I got up to wake my husband an blood gushed down my legs. He called an ambulance luckily we stayed that night with my dad. I ran outside wrapped in a flat sheet an called him. I passed clots one the size of half a football. Within 15min i was in the back of the ambulance an she was born in the amniotic sac. They rushed me to the hospital once they got an i.v i moved from the stretcher to the e.r bed an they took me upstairs once they got the okay. So i moved from e.r bed to labor an delivery bed thats when i learned it was the animiotic sac. The nurse popped it an i heard her say '1, 2, 3, honey, the babys cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times and around her arm once'

By this time id had 12 veins blown them trying to get a bigger gauge needle to give me fluids because of the amount of blood id lost. I was holding my dead babygirl. My child... who was 7in an 2 oz. An i was sad but okay because she wasnt suffering anymore. An even at 18wks an 2 days. You could see every single feature. She had the most perfect hands an was a spitting image of my husband.

The dr came in

This is where i learned the placenta was stuck an thats why it kept going back up. I had to have an emergency dnc to get that out.

I almost died to.

After surgery my blood pressure crashed they gave me i.v med to bring it up. I remember hearing them i remember passing out. I remember waking up an crying because it hit me my baby was gone.

I remember everything. After i was taken upstairs i held her i cried. We all did. the hospital gave me stuff including the wrap, box, hat, pillow an blanketshe had bella baby pictures an was buried in. My blood levels was stable an i was released.

July 17-18th i felt like i was dying an i was right.

I went to the hospital again an found out after blood work was done the nurse walked in an said 'honey if you dont get blood today you will die'

I stayed the night an recieved 3 bags of blood. during this time i learned the babys placenta didnt form right. Instead of having 3 veins it had 2

an one was extremely thin... it aged very fast trying to support her....an I was released.

Saturday july 20th.

Anna Rae Nance was laid to rest beside my papaw.

These our last moments with her.

The kids are ages 3 an 4 my son is the oldest. They knew what happened as far as baby sissy was out of my belly an now in a box because she wasnt alive an we needed to bury her. They knew her body was here an her heart went to heaven. But i wasnt prepared for my daughter to cry when he laid her in the grave. I wasnt prepared for my son to stay stop the dirt so he could go pick a flower an lay it on his baby sisters box. My daughter decorated with live flowers. My husband was upset because he said he never got to see her smile but when she went home with us an he said that i opened the box an she was actually smiling. I showed him... ill nerver forget. Ill never forget the trauma thats happened. We will never forget to love we have for her. We will never forget baby Anna. Or her box that fit her perfectly. But i will also never stop being thankful. Im thankful i missed my appointment the day id had the first spotting. The spotting was that night an my appointment was suppose to be earlier that day and we had some car trouble.. I didnt know how bad it was. I wasnt sitting around waiting. An it was done naturally. Im thankful i have 2 beautiful healthy kids an a baby who is no longer suffering. Im thankful im alive to write this to. An be able to be here for my other kids. Im so blessed really.

What i didnt know was this type of thing happens an i wanted to share an raise awareness. The placenta can have more issues than just being in the wrong place. After 14wks anything could still happen. I didnt know an wanted to share. Not only for awareness but i dont do social media. An sharing is like therapy right now. I hope this doesnt happen to anyone else i pray you all get what you want out of life. An have easy healthy deliveries an beautiful healthy babys an mommas.

We wont forget, Death isnt the end.

💜💛💜💛