Today... I miss my ex husband.

Before we were married everything was a FAIRYTALE!!! He made me feel like the perfect woman. Then the night of our wedding he told me he regretted it and that he wished I looked better... and that he didn’t even want to sleep in the same bed as me.

I brushed it off and pushed through for another two years. I pushed through the hitting and the kicking and the yelling and screaming and accusations. Until he pushed me down the stairs and started beating my animals.

He was my best friend for 8 years. EIGHT YEARS!!

And i dreamt about us last night. Married, with two kids. In a home in our dream town. He was the man i was best friends with.. Made me feel perfect in my dream.. I woke up bawling next to my current fiancé whom I love with all of my heart but am beyond afraid to marry because of my past.

But how do you look at your fiancé and tell him you had a dream about being happy with another man? I know I don’t miss him it’s the memories but it hurt so bad. Today sucked. I hope I’m not alone in this... thanks for reading my pointless rant