Bye bye boy😭💔

My boyfriend left me a week ago because I smoke weed and he is all mega "oH tHAtS sO bAd" and I love that he cares for my mental health but I'm getting a med card anyways because I have many extreme mental illnesses and some PTSD that I haven't even told anyone but my mother and a psychologist about. He knows I have been through a lot and have issues but not sure which ones... I loved that man and ya, he was a jerk sometimes but he was my jerk. I have thought about suicide and even planned to kill myself a few times now but only stopping when I either can't get the supplies or one of my truest friends come to save me. I don't expect anyone to read this but I'm talking to one of his friends who's also my friend and he's trying to get us back together but I don't think it'll ever work... People say underaged love isn't real but it is! What do I do now?!