Its over ;(

My first love my first breakup. Is this really happening?? Ive known him for so long....ive been in love with him forever. I felt like He was all i had there for me when my sister was killed 6 months ago. I had a miscarriage at 3 months in july. One of my first cousin's died 2 weeks ago at age 19. Why am i losing everyone i love so much!!! I feel so alone! We are so meant for eachother! Why is this happening?!? Nothing ever makes sense anymore. I dont understand ;(