Hey ladies, so I just really need to get this off my chest. I’m going through a lot of emotions right now. I’m not here for any judge-y or negative comments so please, if you’re just going to judge keep moving.

Yesterday, my boyfriend admitted to watching porn once about the end of May. I know to many this isn’t a big deal but, I am not okay with porn in my relationships. I communicated this thoroughly in the beginning of our relationship and he agreed to stop watching it. He has well over 500 photos and videos of me and us. So, I’m very hurt over this. I’m hurt that he hid it and it took me prying for him to be open and communicate with me.

So, some of my trust is broken. He said he’s only done it the once and not since. Although it hurts a lot, I decided very quickly that it wasn’t worth upheaving our entire relationship over. But I made it clear that he hurt me, destroyed some of my trust, made me feel very insecure, and that it was going to take a couple of weeks for me to work through all of these feelings and simply put this mistake behind us.

I’m just hurt and I’m feeling very lonely. I’ve been struggling with self-image and anxiety very heavily for about 9 months now (before we started dating). I had finally made progress to a place where I wasn’t super jealous, I was comfortable in my skin and in my relationship. And I hate how easily that all crumbled away. But I know this is simply a set back and that I’m not back at square one. I just need to take time to feel and acknowledge these emotions.

Thanks.