How pissed would you be?

Question

Anyone married preferably so long story short filed taxes with my husband first time he hasn’t filed in years I was supposed to get 8g back and wound up having to pay almost 5g to his baby mom for back child support he didn’t pay apparently before we were married. He KNEW he owed her this money I have children of my own and that money could have been so many things for us I am angry and about to file divorce over this I feel USED and betrayed and used

Answer

I would be furious.  First, that the man had the nerve not to take care of his child.  Second, that he kept this from you and allowed you to file a joint return knowing the government would take the back pay from any refund.  This is a HUGE breach of trust.

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Get a postnup to protect you from his debt!

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I’m not sure about your state laws but when my cousin was owed money from her ex, his wife was able to petition the courts to have her portion of the money released from their income taxes. Did he not tell you he owed?

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I would be mad to. My husband and I laid out all of our debt before getting married so there were no surprises. That should have been brought to your attention sooner and not at the last second. I feel like sometimes men choose not to care about things in hopes that they will go away.

Answer

I would be pissed! I can even understand you wanting to leave due to feeling used! He would have to be on a payment plan and pay me back all my money. Also, he'd really have to somehow prove that this was not done purposely! In the future, file married but filing separately! Also, I'd have everything left, spent on me and my kids only! He took more than half so he wouldn't even get a slushy. I'm sorry that this happened to you! Also make sure that y'all do not share accounts. He has to prove that he can be trusted!

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I'm guessing you didnt know he owed that money?

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they cant do that my mom had to go fill out paperwork call the irs and talk to them it takes 6-12 weeks they’ll send your money back.

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So I have a few questions. How did you jot know he wasn't paying child support? How did you not know he wasn't filing taxes? I ask these things because those two questions got your relationship and marriage into this state of betrayal.
There are a few top things that can destroy a marriage one of them being trust. If you cannot trust your partner how can you live in harmony together. I would sit down preferably with a calm mind and with a notebook listing all the questions you have. He has to answer them completely. You both have to stay calm and logical. Then you need to do some deep soul searching of what he is going to have to do the repay you as well as build back up your relationship. He has to be remorseful and ready to put his boots on the ground running at fixing this.
I suggest reaching out to a church if you are a member a councilor and a mutual friend. If you cannot have these honest conversations without bickering. You have to change a pattern of secrets and learn to talk about issues that you both do not like.
I wish you the best.

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Furious. I wouldn't blame you for walking out over that. That is some of the most manipulative bullshit I've ever heard. You obviously can't trust him.

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I would be super pissed.  I’ve been on the other end of this, my ex husband owes me a ridiculous amount of back child support, and I can always tell when he gets remarried because I’ll get a big payment in April.  I feel badly for the women because I’m sure he’s kept it from them.

How pissed would you be?

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