“Eat a sandwich”

“You really need a sandwich or something.”

I heard it all through middle school when I was in and out of a specialist children’s hospital trying to discover what was causing stomach pain so intense I would literally pass out.

“You need a sandwich” Random women would tell me when I was shopping for more Tylenol to cope with the pain.

“You need a sandwich, boy like girls with a little meat on their bones” I heard, my freshman year of high school from my own aunt. When I stood up from her couch and had to sit back down because I got so dizzy just from doing such a simple thing as standing up.

“You need a sandwich” I heard from the man interviewing me for my first job, asking me if I could even do the work that they needed. I guess I didn’t look like I could pick up a wet rag and wipe a table.

I hear it all too often.

“You need a sandwich”

“Boys like girls with meat on their bones.”

“You look sick, eat something.”

“You’re way too skinny. That’s can’t be healthy.”

I’d hear all those words and more repeating themselves in my head when I’d look at myself in the mirror, hating every inch of my body. Nobody ever asked me if I was healthy, nobody ever asked me if anything was wrong. Nobody cared when I was in the hospital.

All the people around me cared about was my appearance.”, not my health. Thick is a fetish, skinny is gross. It’s been drilled into my head since my 5th grade year.

The truth is, healthy is beautiful. That’s it. I’m 20 years old and I barely weigh 100 pounds. I know people my age reaching 200 pounds. They’re healthy. Their bodies are different from mine and anyone else’s. I have a hiatal hernia, I do not purposefully starve myself. I am now on medicines to treat it. Most of all, I AM HEALTHY.i