Boyfriend doesn’t understand

I have bad social anxiety but my boyfriend continues to pressure me into going out and doing stuff. I have one rule when it comes to making plans: tell me in advance.

Yet, he CONSTANTLY springs stuff on me. Yesterday I got off work (a 12 hour shift at a nursing home.) I felt gross, I had urine and shit on me, my feet hurt, I was starving, and my patience was thinnnn. He said “hey babe, my best friend and his girlfriend want us to come over. Can we go?”

Meanwhile, I’ve already told him countless times not to spring stuff on me. Plus his car is in the shop AND it’s a 2 hour drive that he expected me to drive. He then suggested he’ll put gas in my car and he’ll drive, but it’s like he just misses the whole point.

I feel like he doesn’t listen to me or doesn’t understand how much last minute plans with a group of people I’ve never met before really worries me. My stomach will hurt so bad I have to lay down and my hands will sweat profusely just thinking about it. He also always agrees to plans before he asks me; then when I say NO, like I ALWAYS do to last minute shit, he makes me feel bad by acting all disappointed and then has to tell his friends that I don’t want to, and it makes me look like the bad guy or that I don’t like them.

When it’s the opposite!! I want them to like me so bad because I love my boyfriend and want to be with him for a long time... but it’s like no matter how many times I’ve told him he doesn’t listen.

(He’ll also say stuff like “babe my friends aren’t planner types they’re more spontaneous”

What can I say at this point??