Oh my god

I am so annoying!

I have highs- like right now, and lows where I wanna die or am pissed all the way off like earlier today and several days before that.

It's just, I get SO CRAZY. Everything feels so intense. I'm extremely tempted to do very erratic things!

This whole thing this week was triggered by a guy asking me to be his girlfriend.

And then I agonized over thinking about it,

And now I had an epiphany and have my final answer and I can't wait to tell him!

But my goodness, I've been so emotional and almost delusional, it has been a wild ride as usual. I know very well I'm still manic, I want to jump on his face & scream I wanna b his gf now.

It is definitely a nice thing, and I will wait for the right moment, because I want it to be a nice moment for us.

I've thought I was bipolar for a few years, my bipolar ex used to think I had it too, but I'm not formally diagnosed.

But sometimes, these highs and these lows, I really feel like maybe I should be medicated, this is wild. Like mania can be epic, but a lot of times its unpleasant, especially if paired with depression or anger.

It seems like a few bad things that happened made me have these periods of highs and lows, sometimes the periods last long, and sometimes they seem rapid to me, like these last few days have been a shitstorm inside of me. I'm so glad I finally don't have anything to agonize over, I was so annoyed with thinking about it 😫

Hopefully dude is cool with dating someone like me. I'm pretty ridiculous.