Teen masturbation

I’m new to masturbating and I’ve found I’m a lot more myself when I do it like I can explore what feels good and it just makes me day better I guess?...but I go to church and I know it not “ok” to do it when you go to church or atleast that is what I was told but since I’m new I’ve been looking up photos of how girls do it so I could get better at it but I know that counts as porn. I don’t want to watch porn but it is because I’m just trying to learn how to masturbate I’m 14 btw and I do feel ashamed constantly 😕