Haven’t told anyone... 14w

We’ve struggled with pregnancy loss 5 times. Most recently, I had a missed miscarriage that required a D&C in February.

This time around, I’m feeling really hopeful that things are going to be different. We’ve had four ultrasounds, lots of blood work and everything looks okay.

Because of our history (and people just saying dumb stuff after a miscarriage because they don’t know what to say), I chose not to tell anyone until our 12w scan was successful - even though in the past we have shared sooner.

I have told a few friends of mine and my brother because his wife is also pregnant. No other family members know. My husband hasn’t told any of his friends. I haven’t told anyone at work.

It feels bad to have not shared this with someone. And I’m getting a little scared that I’m going to wake up with an undeniable bump one of these mornings and people are going to feel hurt we didn’t share sooner. When I was pregnant with our son, I went from plain old stomach to BOOM belly at 18 weeks. Just woke up one morning and all of a sudden it was there.

I’m scared that’s going to happen again. We’re staying with my in-laws temporarily and I feel like they have to know something is up, but they haven’t said anything and neither have we.

It also hurts that my husband hasn’t told anyone. We had dinner with his parents and siblings last weekend and I felt like it was the perfect time to share, but he didn’t say anything. I feel like I can’t because it’s his place.

Any advice?