Anyone have bpd?

𝒮𝒽𝒶𝓎𝑒 • 𝔸𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 • 𝕡𝕒𝕟𝕤𝕖𝕩𝕦𝕒𝕝 • “𝕀 𝕞𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕓𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕥, 𝕟𝕠 𝕗𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕠𝕞 𝕥𝕚𝕝 𝕨𝕖’𝕣𝕖 𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕝, 𝕕𝕒𝕞𝕟 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕀 𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕚𝕥.”

I recently have been assessed by my psychiatrist and she has come down to the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and I don’t know if I am horrified or relieved? I have always wondered to myself why am I not normal? Why can’t I just be happy like other people? I have always been so hateful towards myself and sometimes even my family, I could never explain these suicidal episodes and outburst of utter anger and while bpd does explain why I am so sensitive and feel everything so intensely but a diagnosis is not a cure and there is no medication that can cure or suppress it, like schizophrenia and psychosis for instance they can be treated with medication, I’ve been told that medication may help but it will not stop my paranoid, antisocial and self destructive behaviour and I know I have to try but I am so so entirely done with who I am as a person and I can’t help but blame my mother for having me and being into such a dysfunctional life, I was never going to make it and even if I did make something out of nothing I still would have been stuck with the trauma and mental abuse she brought into my life I really just want to give up, I guess I’m saying all this bullshit because I just need to know if there’s anyone else that suffers from bpd and how they control it?