Gender disappointment.

I have my gender scan on Wednesday, I’ve been telling myself this whole pregnancy that I’m having a boy, honestly more so just so I don’t get my hopes up for a girl. I have a son, a step son, and even all my pets are boys 🤦‍♀️ I keep trying to convince myself it’s a boy so I don’t feel bad when the time comes, but in the back of my mind I’m really hoping for a girl, and honestly I can admit that if I’m having another boy I’m gonna be sad about it, obviously I’ll get over it and move on but it just sucks, I don’t want a whole bunch of kids but I will always want a girl, so I’m honestly stuck after this one, like will I try one last time for a girl after this, or do I not want to be disappointed with another boy. I obviously love my boys I have now, and I’ll love this one just as much if it’s a boy too, but I can’t help the feeling of want in the back of my head.