So I was born with Neurofibromatosis 1. I was fine until recently where they found multiple tumors I side me but can t remove them. I live now in fear daily, wanting to just end it all, my mom says I worry too much but I have a 10% chance of it turning to cancer and a five fold chance if breast cancer before 50....I'm 28 now and I can't shake the fear. Drs haven't helped. Specialist now are only for under 24. And I refuse meds because how they made me feel and even more suicidal. I took firth control and that's where my life flipped to the worse so I'm off that. I just don't know what to do anymore and I feel like I'm falling apart....I'm scared honestly. I hate living in fear and this way. Some days are good others are horrible. I just wish I didn't have this disease.