Why do I feel so sad?

After breaking up by TXT MESSAGE with me on Friday, the ex agreed to meet me today and pick up his stuff...

Meeting went well, but I'm not sure he believe I wanted the breakup as much as he did - weirdly enough, I sensed the relationship was dying way before he noticed the problem... 🙄 He just was faster to make the decision to bail out...

Anyway, if what I feel if relief that the relationship ended, why do I feel so sad at the same time? I cried when we were talking 🙄 and when he left, I had a full blow panic attack 🙄 and I've been crying since...

Why the hell is this happening?