I wrote this early this morning and out it in the single moms category and didn't get any responses. I just need some advice or some nice words from someone right now, that's why I'm posting it in a different group. Thanks in advance.

Well, here I am. I didn't think I would be joining this group. I'm 18, my ex is 17, and our baby boy Carter is 3 months old. Yes, we are young, I get that. My ex was honestly amazing. When Carter was born, he really grew up. He started working 30 hours a week and was always so helpful. I was truly impressed. A little over a month ago, he stopped helping. It was like he was losing interest. I was always doing everything for Carter and would have to beg him to feed him a bottle. Even then he would huff about it. We also started arguing over every single tiny thing. We were supposed to be moving into a new house together. I told him that if things did not improve between us, we would no longer be together or living with each other. He said he understood. Things got better for a week and then they returned to how they were once more. A week before move in date, I broke up with him. I would have rathered done everything for my son on my own when I have no help, then when my ex was right there, was able to help, but didn't and I was doing everything. I will say, I've had bad nights where I get so overwhelmed and so scared about being a single mom, and other days, I think it's great and I'm happy to do everything. However, lately my patience with Carter are running out and I feel like it's because I'm stuck in my apartment all day everyday. My ex has him 2 nights a week when he's off work, but that's it. Today Carter was screaming so hard and I was angry. I yelled at him from the other room to stop it. I shocked myself. I couldn't stop sobbing. I felt like the absolute worst mother in the whole world. Felt like I had failed my son bc he is just a baby and doesn't understand. How is it fair of me to get mad at him when he's little, innocent, and just trying to communicate with me. I sobbed so hard I felt like I couldn't breathe. Well, later that day, Carter got really bad diarrhea and I could tell his stomach really hurt and he was in pain. I called my mom who was a NICU nurse for 25 years and asked her what I should do. I did what she said and Carter fell asleep. Well i was so stressed and feeling so horrible and guilty, that i didn't fall asleep until 2am this morning. Carter woke up at 3am. Normally he sleeping totally through the night, but his stomach is hurting, so that's why he woke up. I'm exhausted right now. It's 5:30am now and I just got him to fall asleep on me in the moby wrap. But before that, he literally just screamed and cries so hard no sound was coming out and so hard it made him cough. I got mad again. And once again, I sobbed. I licked Carter up, held him close, and just sobbed and profusely apologized. I guess it's just bc I am so stressed out and scared that his constant cry over and over again really got to me. I would never ever ever hurt him, but when I raised my voice, I felt like I had done the worst thing ever. I feel lost and alone and I honestly don't know what to do. And now I have major car issues and can't go to work tomorrow and I'm really struggling. I don't want to be a single mom. This is not how I saw myself. I am so scared and don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. I'm close with my mom, but she thinks I'm so strong and I'm not one that can openly talk about my feelings to her, so I don't want to tell her. I have other family members, but I'm not at all close with them, and after I graduated high school, I literally don't have any friends and can't relate to them anymore anyways. I have no one to talk to and I don't know what to do. I need help just coping I guess and just knowing that everything will be ok.