Hey ladies. I’m feeling majorly down on myself today. My husband and I have been ttc for 13 months now without even the slightest glimmer of hope and it’s taking its toll. I’ve been charting with opks and bbt since December and none of my trends even remotely resemble what should be “normal” (see pics below). I also log using the Natural Cycles app and because my cycle is so irregular it can rarely confirm ovulation and often even logs that I’ve had anovulatory cycles. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself, but I just get the strongest feeling there’s something wrong with me.

We have an appointment with the Kaiser Fertility Specialist in September, but even then who knows what answers we will get from that, if any. To make matters more difficult, their hours of operation are Monday-Friday from 7am-3pm. I’m a teacher and my husband is an accountant, which means we’ll both have to take some time off of work which can be tricky in our given fields. I’m just so tired. Tired of being disappointed by bfns each month. Tired of not being able to track ovulation due to irregular cycles/maybe I’m not ovulating at all. And tired of a health care system that makes you jump through all sorts of hoops to only maybe find answers.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for by posting this here, except maybe just to get all these emotions out. I appreciate any words of hope or wisdom you ladies can give, I know we all empathize with one another on how difficult and draining this process of ttc can be. Thank you for listening 💛