I’m at a point in my relationship where I’m starting not to care what happens anymore. There’s more negative then positive. This love is draining, it hurts, it’s angry, it’s sad. & sometimes happy. There’s so much hurt in the past idk if i can move forward anymore.. I’ve been with my bf/bd for 3-4 years now & simce the first time i moved in he’s cheated & lied. When i was pregnant i was in such a dark low place because of him & blamed myself for him cheating so i stayed thinking it was gonna change. Fast forward to a year now as far as i know he hasn’t done anything & he has made a big change. He’s more lovey with me, our sex is great, he spoils me, takes me out. but the fear of him cheating or talking to someone he shouldn’t be lingers in my mind EVERY.FUCKING.DAY. Which leads us to argue.. it just sucks because i really have no one and he’s financially taking care of our baby and me. He pays the rent & whatever we want. I’m just tired of it. I’m crying out of nowhere today because i feel like I’m physically and emotionally drained. I’m tired of arguing with irrelevant hoes I’m tired of being sad, it just sucks he’s now changing when i feel like it’s too late. I make myself miserable with the past. I just don’t know what to do people tell me to leave the past in the past but it’s so hard when i don’t trust someone 😔