Am I being selfish because I refuse to Dance?

Question

So my friend is getting married and asked me to be one of her bridesmaids I was happy she asked me and of course said I will do it. Now she is saying she wants to do a coriographed dance with her and all the bridesmaids. So the thing is I don’t dance even my husband that I’ve been with for 10 years has never seen me dance (except slow dancing together). So I told her sorry it’s a really cute idea but I don’t want to be apart of the dance. This made her angry so I told her if she doesn’t want me to be a bridesmaid because I don’t want to be apart of the dance then that’s fine (even though I already spent over $200 on the dress and shoes). 
So basically she is saying I’m being selfish when it’s her day by refusing to dance. I have really bad anxiety and this makes me very shy and embarrassed to do things like dancing so I just won’t do this. 
What’s your opinion am I the one being selfish here?

Answer

I really despise choreography at weddings. Literally makes me cringe. I do not blame you at all for not wanting to do it.

Answer

I have extreme social anxiety and cannotttt do anything in front of a group of people, small or large so i completely get where you’re coming from. If she is really your friend then she should also understand where you’re coming from and you’re willing to do everything else except dance... if my friend felt as strongly as you did about not subjecting yourself to that then i would understand and move forward with you as my bridesmaid and with 1 less person in the dance.

Answer

Nope she is being selfish by thinking her wedding is important enough to make you uncomfortable. It is just a wedding, anyone can have one she is nothing special.

Answer

I don’t think you’re being selfish at all. I would’ve never tried to do a dance like that because all of the bridal party wouldn’t have been ok with it. You even offered to sit out after spending the money. She’s being selfish.

Answer

Choreographed dances are hard and awkward. If you don’t dance at all even with your husband I think it’s reasonable you wouldn’t be up to doing a group dance 🤷🏻‍♀️ I would never try to force a friend to do something so uncomfortable for my wedding

Answer

No, I'm glad none of my friends would want to do that lol.

Answer

You’re not being selfish. I think this is an extremely selfish thing for a bride to ask of her bridesmaids. Being a bridesmaid is stressful enough; there’s no need to add to the stress with stuff like this. One of the brides I was a bridesmaid for asked me to do the same thing and I straight up made it very clear that it was not happening. Thank goodness she changed her mind about doing it (only because she didn’t have enough time to rehearse with the other bridesmaids). I knew she’d be slightly upset if I didn’t do it, but with my social anxiety there was no way.!

Answer

Yes, it's her AND her fiances day, BUT that doesn't mean everyone has to be at your beck and call. I mean, if she's a good/close friend, then she obviously should know how you feel/that you're shy. Don't let her fit throwing make you feel bad.

Answer

Those dances are so stupid and corny, like no one but the bride enjoys that crap. Every single guest sits there like 😬 I'd probably politely decline the spot in the wedding party.

Answer

I wouldn’t do the dance either

Am I being selfish because I refuse to Dance?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey