advice please :(
So i’m writing on here hoping to get some advice. I’m 19 years old and my boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. He is in university getting a bachelor is science degree then aiming to continue with some therapy/med type of post graduate studies. He is insanely caring and sweet, and makes me happier than anyone has ever in the past. My mom, (and dad actually) just does not like him. and it breaks my heart. I never tell her that it means so much to me that she doesn’t approve, because we’ve always had a rough relationship. She’s very conservative, and hold exceptionally traditional beliefs. I’m more open minded and liberal and she has never stopped repeatedly belittling my views and talking down to me. The reasons for which she disliked my boyfriend are also (to me) ridiculous. My boyfriends parents never got high school diplomas in this country, since they were refugees at the age of 18. They never had the type of high paying job and profession my mom sees as absolutely necessary. My boyfriends parents have worked ridiculously hard to get where they are now, and when they were younger chose to work and help provide for their family instead of trying to learn english to the point of high school graduation. Honestly, if i was in their situation i can’t say i would’ve been any better than they are today. My parents look down on his parents, and to them, having money is one of the most important things to look for in a boyfriend🙄. What’s ridiculous is this is his family we’re talking about. As of i’m gonna leech off of them? Like this isn’t even his money we’re talking about. He is dedicated and hardworking, and so driven to be able to one day give back to his parents. I have no doubt in my mind that he will one day satisfy the monetary “success” my mom values. And you know at that point she’ll pull a 180 and claim she always liked him. Another reason they do not like my boyfriend is because he is not as smart as me. In high school, when we started dating, I had a 97% average and took AP classes, while maintaining a part time job and being able to socialize and get enough sleep. My boyfriend is incredibly smart, however undeniably not academically where I am. He had about a 90% average, but also worked and had free time. In university, I maintained a 4.0 and he had about a 3.8 gpa. My parents hate that he does not have a ridiculously high gpa, and them being traditional people, they want the male to have the higher income, intelligence, class, etc🙃. The next reason my parents disapprove of him, is because they think i’m too young to be dating. To them, early twenties is when dating should start, and after a few years of dating you should be ready to get married. OH yeah of course the guy NEEDS to have a house and car already because how in the world will he be able to provide for you, an independent 21st century woman with her own career, if he doesn’t possess those things? 😒. I do not hold the same values as my parents, due to where we have grown up, and the culture we grew up with. I grew up here in the west, and obviously have western ideas when it comes to dating. At this point, i see even my friends with parents from the same place as mine being way more understanding and accepting of them, and I don’t know how to deal. I love my boyfriend. he is beyond amazing. I get that for my parents, they are trying to help me and do what’s best for me in the way they know how, even if it isn’t how i see it. I know i don’t need my parents approval. but part of me will always be sad that we could never see eye to eye.
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