Don’t know what to feel..

I’ve struggled with me weight for quite some time now..my bf and I have been together for 2.5 years and things had been well, however, he grown frustrated and disgusted with my body as I have. I’ve yo-yoed for so long, and he just wants me to be healthier and more active. We’re pretty much at a rocky point in our relationship, and our sex life is slowing dying down, we have so many plans to do things together, build a home, take trips, basically for the general future..I need some help and motivation to get me going again on my fitness journey. My heart hurts..