I paid the cab driver as he pulled up to my destination, and I confidently stepped out onto the sidewalk. It had only been about 24 hours since the last time I had arrived at Seth’s apartment, but this time was different. I was different. I was no longer a lost, drunk girl who had just had her heart shattered in a breakup. This time, I knew exactly what I was doing.

Seth opened the door and for a moment, he just stood there and smiled, almost as if he had been expecting me to show up even though I hadn’t told him that I was coming.

I could feel my heart pounding in my ears and my voice shaking as I spoke. “I am single, I am sober, and I want to do this.”

Seth smirked. “Good enough for me.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me in.

I kicked the door shut behind me and Seth pressed me up against it. Our lips locked together firmly and the tip of his tongue brushed against mine. The taste of toothpaste and scotch mingled in my mouth and my nose filled with the sweet yet oaky scent of his cologne.

Seth reached down and grabbed my hands with his. He took a step back and gently pulled me away from the door before quickly spinning me around so my back was pressed up against his body. His heavy breaths were warm against my neck and his gentle kisses sent chills up and down my spine. He rubbed one hand against my chest while the other danced under my skirt.

I could feel him getting hard against my back and I spun myself around to face him, grabbing the back of his neck with my hands and pulling him in for a long, passionate kiss. He started to walk forward towards his bedroom and I took steps backwards to mirror him.

I backed away for a moment as Seth pushed his bedroom door shut behind us and pulled his shirt off over his head. His eyes filled with mischievous excitement as he took long strides towards me and hooked one arm around my neck while the other tightly gripped my waist, pulling me closer to him. His fingers wandered to the back of my skirt and rested on the zipper as he slowly undid it and let my skirt drop to the floor.

He pushed me down onto the bed and I let out a small gasp, startled at his sudden aggressiveness as I fell backwards into the comforter. He leaned down on top of me, his fingers firmly grasped around the sides of my black underwear as he slowly slid them down my legs before tossing them carelessly over his shoulder. He abruptly tugged on my legs to pull me towards the edge of the bed, and then pushed them open before dropping to his knees on the floor in front of me.

I could feel his five o’clock shadow against my inner thighs as he ran his tongue along me. I let out a soft sigh and tugged on his blond hair. Seth looked up at me with a triumphant smirk and crawled up the bed on top of me. I gripped the back of his neck and flipped over so he was under me. He let out a soft chuckle and sat up, propping himself up with one forearm as he used his other hand to pull me my face towards his. He gently put passionately pressed his lips against mine and slipped his tongue into my mouth, sending chills up and down my spine. His hands ran down my chest and stomach until he reached the bottom of my shirt to which he gave a gentle tug, signaling me to take it off, which I did.

I pushed him back onto the bed and kissed down his stomach until I got to his pants. As I unbuttoned them, he quickly kicked them off and grabbed my upper arms with both of his strong hands, flipping me on my back and pressing me against the bed. This is it, I thought to myself. I felt my heart start racing, and my excitement quickly shifted to a moment of anxiety. And it wasn’t just about the fact that, up until that moment, the only person I had slept with was Gavin. It was somehow even more than that; it was a moment of no return, a moment where I knew I would never be able to go back to the version of myself I had once known.

I didn’t have much time to think, or to let this anxiety set in. Seth’s strong shoulders flexed and I gripped them tightly as he leaned closer and slowly pressed himself into me. I gasped, digging my nails into his back and allowing his body to melt into mine.