Today I turned 6 weeks, today I went to the bathroom and there in the toilet was a ton of blood and what appeared to be a clot. I went to see my doctor and they ran some blood test and made more appointments for blood testing and a follow up. Today I believe I experienced my first miscarriage. I have 2 kids and I had healthy easy pregnancies with them.

I am so lost and so sad. I knew something like this had to be hard but I didn’t realize how hard it would actually be. All I can do is cry. I know it’s not anyone’s fault but I keep racking my brain trying to figure out where I went wrong. I wanted this baby so bad and tried so long for it. I am heartbroken.

To all the mommies out there that has gone through this just know I admire your strength and I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle this I just want to disappear.