I've always joked around that I should become an FBI Agent!!

To keep this short, I will say how embarrassed I feel!

I've been hitting on this guy who is/was a famous college football player here in Texas and he's 25, I'm 29! I didn't know this previously! I didn't break any laws but I located him just by searching his first name and the college he went to because that's really all we chat about and work!

Anyway,

He is fit (I could never really tell before because he wears loose to almost baggy clothing) and I am a delicious plus-size woman in all the right places 👌 and single mother of 2, while one of my children lives with his father (by choice) so 3 children, I have! Why do I feel embarrassed because I'm sure there are women all around him slimmer and much prettier than me and he's probably thinking the worst of me idk but he's been extremely polite. I'm not insecure by any means but let's face it, most celeb couples (not saying he is, or I'd be a celebrity, I mention this because he's well known here, I guess) are beyond gorgeous. MOST!! I now feel like plain Jane and a cougar!! This is not speaking down on relationships of appropriate ages with a similar or bigger age gap.

I feel like I need to be on my shit every time I see him which is not very often! I mean, I take care of a household on my own, 2 girls and every few months my son. Working on my 2nd degree all while holding down a great career in Tax!

He makes me feel jolts in my body when I'm around him. Not sexual, while yes he is fucking gorgeous!!

He has a 3 year old son and an unknown relationship with the mother!!

I just wanted to vent at how much my hands are shaking, I'm nauseous, and don't even want to look at him now because I just don't feel up to par!!

Just a post to rant!!

Thanks for reading