I lost my triplets October 16th 2016. I should have been 11 weeks pregnant but they had stopped growing at 9.5 weeks. I've done very well with the my loss. I made it through another pregnancy and have rainbow twin boys. I would give anything to have all my children here with me but I know that's not God's plan right now. I'll see them again one day I know.

But the one thing that sticks with me that I can't get over is that I threw my babies away. My doctor advised a D&C. She was worried about blood loss if I did it on my own at home. I was fine with it. I didn't think about asking for the remains to bury or cremate. And it kills me every day to know I didn't lay my children to rest. They were just tossed out with medical trash. I don't know how to move pass this. What should I do? Am I crazy to think this?