I have a 7 week old baby who I breastfeed the journey started of hard due to very sore nipples and latches however eventually that has improved. I produce enough milk as confirmed by lactation consultants observation.

However I do not enjoy breastfeeding the odd time it’s ok. My baby just wants to constantly be on the breast and I really hate that and it gets to me at times. I feel so guilty for feeling like this and feel like I don’t deserve to be a mum.

My baby hardly sleeps in the day so don’t get a break just her crying wanting to be on the breast. Breast aches from her being on it so much. I love my baby to bits but at times I just wish I could run away and leave, the thought of having to feed her sometimes fills me with dread / anxiety.

I don’t want to give up because with my first born two years ago I had a terrible experience with breastfeeding where my nipples bled and I gave up and switched to formula, my husband didn’t want me to but for my sanity I had to however was not easy as husband made me feel guilty by giving her formula which he is against and constantly reminded me so and had regular digs at me which made me feel like I did not do enough for my baby and questioned whether I was a good mum, that experience was horrible emotionally and really took awhile to get over.

This is why I don’t want a repeat of him being like that again with our second baby. I’m finding it hard, I’m not enjoying my baby as much as I should, I just want to fast forward a year.

I enjoyed pregnancy and had a great birth but breastfeeding just does not come easy for me.

I feel ever so guilty and torn, my babies deserve better.

I’m just looking for encouragement and to tell me time will fly by.

Thank you ladies :)