I’m the oldest sibling with a younger brother, 19 years old, and two younger sisters, 17 & 22.

My dad is in the hospital... he’s in really bad condition. He has severe UC, a rare skin condition from having an autoimmune disease, and they just took biopsies to test for cancer. My mom is very stressed and scared, and spends most of her day in the hospital with him and is not sleeping well at night. She needs our help now more than ever.

I have a 4 month old and am working and I find the time to visit him (without the baby of course) and help my mom with grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning her house, emotional support, pretty much anything she needs. I always make sure to text him, send pictures of the baby, and video call him with the baby.

MY SIBLINGS HAVE DONE NOTHING. The youngest brother and sister have visited him, but have not helped with anything around the house. In fact, when I was over last they left their dirty dishes everywhere, haven’t walked the dogs, haven’t done their laundry or cleaned their rooms. My brother sits in his room all day playing video games since he lost his job and has not been proactive in finding another. My youngest sister a upkeeping her social life by constantly going out or having 4+ friends over at my moms house. The oldest sibling only visited him once in a week and a half, has not called or text him, and hasn’t helped with ANYTHING. I sent them a long group text explaining that they need to step up and help.... not one single answer.

My mom expressed to me that she’s really sad and disappointed in them but doesn’t have the time or mental/emotional capacity to reprimand them about it right now.

I feel so horrible for my mom and dad and I want to kick my brother and sisters into gear but I don’t know how to do that without adding family drama to the mix of stress right now.

Any advice on how I can handle this? I feel as the oldest sibling it’s sort of my responsibility to handle this so that my mom doesn’t have to right now.