Okay, so to make a VERY long story as short as I can (which is still long)....

My boyfriend and I have been together for going on 4 years. We have an almost 2 year old. Before I got pregnant (planned pregnancy), we used to have sex ALL the time. Every single day, multiple times a day. Like we couldn’t be stopped lol and it was always amazing. We had such a healthy sex life and a perfect/happy relationship.

Then we found out I was pregnant. Everything changed for the worse. He stopped being intimate with me, I tried to get his attention in a million different ways even though I was pregnant. It started getting to me and I felt like he wasn’t attracted to me anymore because my body was changing. Then he started coming home from work angry and would be frustrated towards me for it when I was just happy and excited to see him. I stopped looking forward to him coming home from work. It’s gotten worse since then, both him coming home from work angry to the lack of intimacy. We have sex every 2-3 months ever since I got pregnant. He’s told me he’s tired, he told me he didn’t want to hurt the baby, he’s told me he just doesn’t feel like it. But in my head, because it was once I got pregnant, for two years I’ve believed it’s because he isn’t attracted to me anymore. I started feeling so disgusting that I wouldn’t even let him touch me when he actually did want to.

Anyways, he had a horrible day at work yesterday and started arguing with me about everything through text. It got to the point that our lack of intimacy was brought up and I called him crying and telling him I don’t feel any sort of connection to him anymore. That if his sex drive is really just gone like that, I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve tried spicing things up to get him in the mood and i get rejected every time. He admitted to me he has NO idea what it is but he just doesn’t ever feel like having sex, and that to HIM it’s not coming in the middle of our relationship. Which obviously, if he doesn’t want to have sex then it’s not going to upset him that we aren’t having it. But I’ve always had a high sex drive, I still do. I told him how important it is to me that we have that intimate connection with each other, and we don’t anymore. I’ve brought it up a million times in the past 2 years. He asked me if I was going to leave him because of this and I just went silent. I couldn’t say no.... but I didn’t want to say yes either. So he hung up on me. Then called me back a minute later crying and telling me how fucked up that is because he can’t help it. I apologized and said I know he can’t but I don’t know how to fix that.

He said he’ll go to the dr to see if maybe he’s got low testosterone.....but I don’t think he’ll really go. Is it really fucked up to leave someone for this? What am I supposed to do? We have many other issues between us besides the lack of sex too but this is a huge one. I’m human, I have desires and needs, it’s natural. Am I supposed to stick around forever always feeling like this huge part of our relationship is just...missing? Stick around feeling unsatisfied all the time? Am I just a fucking asshole??

I also want to throw in here that he told me when we do have sex every 2-3 months, it feels like he’s forcing it just to make me happy. Because he genuinely never has the desire to. Which makes me feel even worse. He did say he WISHES he could have sex with me as much as he used to but he’s not 15 anymore with a high sex drive. But we are ONLY 21!!! He says that like we’re older but we are still so young.