Moving On

Paige

3 weeks ago my s/o broke up with me and left me devastated. Most of it was my fault. I have borderline bipolar disorder & anxiety/depression. I let myself believe I didn’t need my meds for 2 mos all the while feeling irritated all the time and blowing my money on drugs and thinking it was okay to let him take care of me. Even though he’s struggling too. I broke his trust doing impulsive things bc of my disorder. He keeps saying that’s an excuse that I need to stop using. But if I hadn’t realized this then I’d still catatonic by our relationships demise.

There’s still attraction between us but he’s convinced there’s no love for me. We’ve come to the conclusion that we may be able to still sleep together once a week when we feel we may need it bc of the sexual individuals we are. I would rather have him in my life as a best friend/whatever, than not at all. Am I right to believe he’s confused about his feelings for me? Am I wrong to try to do this with him until we can move on from each other? I planned my future around him and believe we could be better for each other if we tried again since my meds have been helping me. I can’t let go yet. He has a full semester a head of him and then onto USC. I want to be there for him. I want him to be there for me. I need some guidance/advice. Support.