I was manipulate , and yes your right I was to fucken blind to see it. Everytime I would catch him doing something fishy he would be like "it's because I felt alone" like wtf HOW if am right here, like why couldn't you talk to me about it. Why is it that you thought finding someone else would help?? And he would hit me with the "my mind is so fuck up, you know it is" bullshit and yup you guess it right I would be like oh poor you , yea your right I should forgive you. Man Everytime I start thinking about all the situations he has put me through makes me want to cry of anger because he took advantage of me in so many ways.let's not even start with sex because guess what when I DIDNT WANT TO HAVE SEX he didn't care what I wanted or what I didn't want he would force me to give him sex and if I didn't he would make me feel so guilty because I was his GF I HAD TO GIVE SEX! That's what he would tell me. I would continuously tell him to stop when he would force himself inside me and sometimes I would even cry but he didn't care. Once he was finished he would kiss me and say thanks for helping me out ? Like what what does that even mean but wait no it doesn't stop there Everytime we would break up he would somehow convince me to get back together but he would only use me for sex and then he would be gone again. Yea I know I was SO STUPID but now I understand I know my worth! I don't need him and I never did. Yea it sucks because he was my first love, I know it's going to be hard to forget him but I know I could do it! #selfworth #betterfuture