(I saw this on fb, thought it was accurate 😂)

#1 Bleeding.

#2 Every month.

#3 Every fucking month.

#4 Out of your vajayjay.

#5 Fuck's sake.

#6 Bleeding that is accompanied by stomach cramps so agonising it feels like someone's put your womb into a blender.

#7 But it's okay, because at least you get to rest up and take care of yourself while you're feeling so poorly.

#8 Oh no. My mistake. That does not happen at all, and life is expected to go on exactly as normal, because Mother Nature (who is clearly actually a man) is a sadist.

#9 Sanitary protection. Choose between going for an impromptu fanny wax (sanitary towels; adhesive backing; OWWWW), inserting a cigar shaped roll of cotton up your front bottom (which, according to the VAT rules, is a "luxury" experience. All I can say to that is that the creators of the VAT rules need to take a good hard look at their own leisure pursuits if that's the kind of sensory experience that they're classing as "luxury"), or shoving some kind of collapsible tea cup up there, which, on the plus side, could probably double as a suitable vestibule if you're going camping.

#10 As an aside, if Hell exists, it may well consist of an endless cycle of drawing dry tampons out of oneself GAAAAAAAH.

#11 Period poos.

#12 And period flatulence.

#13 BECAUSE IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE JUST ONE OF YOUR ORIFICES PLAYING UP AT ANY ONE TIME.

#14 Flooding.

#15 Which, for the avoidance of doubt, does not mean a tiny bit of leakage onto your jeans (which will NEVER be white, advertising agencies, because no woman in the history of time has ever been that fucking stupid. Dicks).

#16 When we're talking flooding, we're talking more in the Biblical sense.

#17 If, that is, Noah had also had to deal with a few rogue clots; and was left attempting to clear up the aftermath with nothing more than a small sink, a handdryer, and a couple of pathetic looking paper towels.

#18 Not enough for everything below your waist to be betraying you?

#19 Yeah, you'll also break out in enough oozing spots to play dot to dot on your face.

#20 And have a pair of tits that feel like they could spontaneously combust at any moment.

#21 But it's okay, because at least all of this only lasts for 5-7 days, right?

#22 BULLSHIT.

#23 Okay, so you might only be bleeding for 5-7 days.

#24 But add in the spotting in the run up. The emotional maelstrom. The mid month ovulation pains.

#25 It's basically just one non stop ROLLERCOASTER OF FUN.

#26 Oh, and you will find yourself perpetually furious. Which will be dismissed as being down to "PMT"/"your hormones".

#27 All I have to say to that is: I'd like to see anyone NOT get fucking furious when faced with all of the above.

#28 Don't worry though, because only forty or so years and then your periods will be at an end!

#29 To be replaced by the menopause.

#30 Fuck's sake.

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COPIED FROM FB.