So, me and my fiance recently found out that we are expecting our first baby. This is wonderful news, as I was told children would possibly never be a biological possibility for me.

When I was 15, I was assaulted. It was violent, and traumatic. I missed my next period, I started getting sick all the time. I ignored it because I was a kid, and I was scared. I ended up miscarrying at about 10 and a half weeks.

I'm 22 now. We ended up having to go to the ER, because I was experiencing some light spotting. Not even enough to turn the tp pink, but enough that it was concerning to me, which probably isn't saying much because I've lost a baby before and I'm scared it will happen again. We spent 9 hours in the ER. Blood work, urine analysis, an abdominal ultrasound and a transvaginal ultrasound, with two hours of just straight waiting for the doctor to come in and tell us that there are really only two options. Option A is that i wasn't as far along as we thought. Option B was that i was miscarrying. And after dropping that bomb he also decided to say "And if you are, there is nothing we can do to prevent it.". So i spent all night until my OB appointment yesterday on and off crying, and freaking out, thinking we might lose the baby. The appointment yesterday went fine. The Ultrasound Tech said it's more than likely that i'm just not as far along as we thought. There was a gestational sac and a yolk visible on the screen, as well as what she said could be the beginning development of the baby, but she couldn't say for sure. They took more blood, and we should know by tomorrow if my HCG levels are rising or falling.

I know I'm probably being overly worried because of past trauma and the fact that I've already experienced losing a baby. But I just wanted to be safe, and even though it's probably fine, I don't think I'm going to rest easy until I hear a heartbeat and see the baby on the ultrasound screen.