Its been about 5 months since I miscarried my baby and we've trying. I purchased ovulation kits for jun and July and presead & did try it just once & gave up completely just stoped everything. I'll just let it happen when the time is right. I dont at times I feel like it's my fault we lost our first baby, I caught my fiance yesterday on his phone looking up " Pregnancy something I didn't really get see exactly what he googled then came up I just seen a pictures of two babies" later on he starts to say we really need a baby of our own.... I take a shower and cry my self "while having the water running so he won't hear a thing " we do we do we do talk about getting pregnant, but I feel when we do have these conversations he looks sad in a way because of the miscarriage. I'm venting right now because for some very very odd reason I feel pregnant? Yesterday and today which is odd + my honey on Google + today his son called to ask if I was pregnant?.

I think I'm going crazy, I just had to vent I've been having it very rough at work and getting back to school and every God given day hoping and praying our baby miracle could happen. One day to see my fiance's face and I just tearing up because of the happiness and joy. When will this happen?. God only knows. Thank you for who ever took the time to read this.. this a vent for the last 2 days I've been just so out of it and depressed.

When I gave him the suprises on our Buisness trip to Susanville California February 15,19