I've suffered from depression since I was 12, yes 12, I have two beautiful daughters, a husband I love to death and a third baby on the way. I'm 20 and yes he's the father of all my children and the one to take my virginity. My girls are 5 and almost 2. I know I suffered PPD and since it's gone untreated it's getting worse. I have done the therapy and they look at me like I caused my pain and suffering. They refuse to help me find coping methods and I refuse to take medicine because I always end up using it wrong. I don't want to go down this road again. But here lately I've been accusing my husband if cheating, when he's not, I find myself wanting to lay in bed rather than be that perfect mom. Don't get me wrong my children get fed, provided for day in and day out they shower and bath but I hate watching them play, I hate hearing them laugh and I feel like such a horrible mom. I need you help. I have so many insecurities even before I was pregnant. Maybe it's the stress of us buying a house, only one person working for income, bills and money but I need to shake this feeling. I need to find my happiness again with my husband and kids. I want to enjoy these moments of being a sahm. I love my children no doubt and I want to be the mom who plays baby dolls and barbies with them who makes this breakfast with a smile on my face who kisses her husband with as much love as she possibly can and never get enough of his affection and love. Please help me.

Ps I'm posting anonymously because some women here can get very negative. Please try to refrain from that. I get enough negativety from my mom and dad daily. So please only positive uplifting vibes.