Love languages?

Question

So my husband and i have been together for 5 years, married 1 year (almost 2). I'm seeing posts in here about love languages and i think that might be our issue. He's a cuddler, hugger, kisser all that and I'm not. I like my space for the most part. My way of showing I love him is putting his laundry away, cooking him a nice meal, getting him small gifts. Stuff like that. Obviously i still hug and kiss him but not as much as he would like. I dont know how to get on the same page. I want him to suprise me with little things, not even material things, just like "hey i did the dishes for you today just because" and he wants me to be more affectionate.

Answer

Me and my partner were having a love language issue as well. What we did was look up the love languages (all 5), and write down our top 2. Under each one we wrote 5 things we would like done that falls into that category.
For example, one of mine is acts of service so I wrote 5 ways he can show me that kind of love.
We keep our lists somewhere we can see/access them easily so we'll remember to love each other the right way, not our way. It's helpful because when he delivers in my love languages, I remember to do the same.

Answer

I think just understanding each other’s love language differences can be a huge help. Maybe actually take the love languages test online and read each other’s results. When my husband and I did that, it was SUCH a game changer.
His top 2 are physical touch and words of affirmation. Meanwhile, even though I do really like physical affection at times, I’m also the type of person who sometimes just likes my own space and doesn’t want to be touched. He used to drive me crazy always trying to kiss me and I’m like dammit boy I just want my space! Lol. But reading up about his love language was a huge “OH!” moment for me, and now, even if I still don’t feel like returning the hug or kiss that he wants, at least I’m significantly less annoyed by his asking for it constantly because I understand how important it is to him. It just makes me more empathetic to his needs. Same with words of affirmation because he is the type of person who says “I love you” like once an hour hahaha and when I would not say it back, he’d get super upset at that and I’m like “ok you KNOW I love you, I freaking married you and I’ve already said i love you  5 times today, why do you need to hear it again?” Lol. But again, I’m much more sensitive of his needs now that I realize it’s part of his love language and I say “I love you” 193748373 times a day to him now because I know how important it is for him to actually hear me say it.

Answer

Download the Love Nudge App on both phones and take the quiz. You set up reminders to do thing he would appreciate more and you can update your love tank letting them know how you feel

Answer

Take the test & read the book. You already seem to know what each of you needs, so start doing it! Even if you dont feel like it, speak his love language for physical touch.

Answer

The thing is, the people we love the most often end up giving us the motivation to try things that are outside of our baseline nature, and honestly it can be a great thing to be that close to someone and care enough about their wellbeing to compromise our natural desires juuuust a little bit, enough to try something to help them. Then it might become part of who we are anyway!
Unfortunately, my dating relationships have been one-sided in terms of being perceptive enough and trying enough to actually try to please someone in these ways, using and learning their love language, listening to what they want, desire and need, and doing it! Like I do this stuff because I want to be a good partner, but my partners have so far not... wish one would be willing. I have higher hopes for my new partner. 
But, even in friendships and family relationships, my best friend and my mom have caused me to shift my behavior so I can be a better friend and daughter to them, because I don't want to hurt them, I've learned to be a better listener, better at not being too harsh talking about different opinions, making sure my mom knows im not dead, lol. Etc.
It's just stuff we do for people we love, even if it doesn't come naturally at first.

Love languages?

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