How did you know you were ready to try again?

Question

Hi ladies. My husband and I made the hard decision to end our pregnancy at 16 weeks due to a fatal defect. It has only been 3 weeks and we are definitely not ready to try again, but I'm curious how you knew you were ready to try again...right now it feels like I'd be trying to replace our baby and I can't imagine feeling any different

Answer

Honestly I didn’t want to wait to try. I didn’t feel that having another baby would replace the ones that I’ve lost, but that it just helps me heal. It kinda helps that void you feel or at least it did for me. Everyone is different and we all grieve differently. Only you know what’s best for you. Sorry for your loss momma

Answer

I knew I was ready to try again the day I was around my friends kids and I didn’t feel resentful anymore. I hate everyone who had kids because I didn’t. But I was finally happy because I had come to terms with it. It took me a year and I was so depressed for a long time but out of nowhere I was just happy.
Unfortunately, I miscarried again 4 months later and they started the whole process again. I then went to my doctors after a year of trying and still not pregnant. They done a scan and told me I had pcos, my cysts looked that bad they only have me a 1% chance of ever having a baby. April 11th 2018 I found out I was pregnant again. I was so happy but so terrified it would happen again. She’s 8mo now. 
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending baby dust your way when you’re ready to try! ❤️

Answer

So sorry for your loss, Katie. Ending a wanted pregnancy is such a difficult decision. I feel for you and your husband. 3 weeks is such a short amount of time. After our loss at 18 weeks, I was told to wait at least 3 months before trying again. You can start trying as soon as you have your period again. But I felt the same as you did. The doctors tell you 3 months really for emotional healing, not physical. I honestly wanted to wait six months to try again because at 3 months I still didn't feel totally ready. But we decided to try anyway at 3 months. We just weren't as serious about it. We were like if it happens it happens. I think I just had to force myself to get back on the horse. No pun intended. Lol. My husband and I wanted something to look forward to. We were having a really hard time in our life and not just with the loss. Work sucked. We moved. I got sick. It was crazy. But almost 7 months out, we're doing great. We're happy again. I'm also 7 weeks pregnant! I actually got pregnant 6 months after our  loss so really it took 6 months like I wanted. 
I don't think there is ever a time when you really are ready. Even when you are just trying to get pregnant the first time. It's a leap of faith and you just pray everything will turn out ok this time. I've heard other women say that when the thought of not having a child scared them more than getting pregnant again that's when the knew to try again. A lot of people told us not to give up after our loss. It used to make me so angry because it almost invalidates your feelings. Now, I'm kinda glad for the encouragement. Kinda. It feels good to be pregnant again. And I'm more realistic about the things that can happen. I'm for sure living in the moment with this pregnancy. 
I'm sure right now it feels like the world is ending. That you'll never be happy again or that you'll never want to put yourself through this again. Trust me. I have felt the same as you. Take your time to grieve and mourn your loss. You deserve this time to honor your baby. I believe you'll know when you will want to start trying again. Give yourself space right now though. 3 weeks is such a short amount of time. You'll start to feel differently as time passes. You can even decide not to try again. That's ok too. Listen to your heart. You'll know what to do.

Answer

I miscarried in June. I just finished my period (2nd one since the miscarriage) and am now feeling excited about the idea of trying again. That’s a change for me so I think I’m ready. 
One thought that has helped me is that it’s ok to try for another baby while still grieving the loss of the baby you had. It’s not one or the other. But it’s obviously different for everyone. Sorry for your loss. ❤️

Answer

I am sorry you guys went through that but....BABY FEVER IS REAL!!! When you know, you know!

How did you know you were ready to try again?

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