Now, let’s not jump on the gun ladies since this has yet to happen! I’m both excited and scared to death. The tension is KILLING ME!

Two nights ago, I was cleaning, helping pack for my SO’s month long business trip, and coming up with a tour plan on Google Maps for him to explore Germany during his free time. I sat on the bed proofreading a thesis paper he had just wrapped up. While I scanned for sleep deprivation grammar mistakes and silly shit in general, he called me—“babe. ”

I looked up from his ipad, expecting him to ask for help. To my surprise, he asked, “should I go up to San Francisco?”

We live at a 45min-1hr distance between San Francisco where I work and plan to return to design school, and Silicon Valley where he is about to finish his Ph. D. Most of the times, I drive down to see him due to his packed schedule, but he does drive up to come see me as well.

Confused, I asked, “to my place? If I am busy with school, yes. I’d appreciate you driving up to see me. Thank you.”

He then asked, “I meant as in should I move up to San Francisco. Do you want to live with me after you start school?”

My jaws dropped. I think I dropped the apple pen on the floor along with my thought process as well. My boyfriend of four months, the only guy my family and friends have ever approved of, and my complimentary other half just asked to move in with him. Him asking me out after our third CMB date wasn’t half as mind blowing as this.

YES!

If anyone is unaware, rent is extremely expensive in both cities, and I burned through 3 full tanks of gas (cost came to around $130 for TWO WEEKS!!) commuting between his place and my work these past two weeks. Maintaining both houses at the same time has always been a struggle and it’d be nice to have more time in each other’s company through busier times.

We are fully independent adults able to afford our lifestyle, and we’ll start the actual planning after he finalizes his job offer, so that we can pick an adequate location between his new workplace for the next year.

When do you think is a good time to move in with a partner, and what are the pros and cons based on your experience?

Most of the weeks for the summer, I’ve spent 3-5 days a week with my boyfriend, and we are so comfortable in each other’s company that people naturally assume we’ve dated for years. We enjoy cooking together, I clean like a house elf, and my design background combined with Asian cheapness means I keep a nice and tidy home within a set budget at all times. I’m going to have a lot of fun with this!

In the meanwhile, I’m going to have to come up with a way to break the news to my conservative Christian mother, and also mentally prepare to meet his tiger empress mother as well. You’d expect being Asian American as being considered an American. As long as either of us speak fluent Korean, we’re still bound to the same outdated rules. He won’t ever let other people’s opinions change his decision but regardless, I am scaaaaared to death.

Oh... I am a corpse served on a plate 🍝