It’s very long and I apologize but I really need advice please . So I was my ex for over a year and 2 months .

We broke up about a week ago . It was a tough breakup . I basically asked him why he treats me so badly , gets annoyed with me and etc . It turned into an argument because he said he didn’t want to try anymore and then proceeded to say he despises me , he lost feelings over all the fighting and that he never wants to see me again . He was really pissed off . So I did leave and I have left him alone , haven’t called him nothing and I plan to do so leave him alone until HE WANTS to fix things and IF . Obviously I’m very sad about things but I want him to be happy . My mom , my grandma and everyone close to me keeps telling me if I love him I should talk to him and tell him . But he hasn’t tried to reach out , he made a tinder account recently, and I think he went on a date last night with a girl and didn’t get home till 2 AM . I think ! But I’m not sure . He doesn’t seem sad . While I have barely been eating and sleeping .

We both have a lot of fault in our relationship I admit that’s it just not him . I realized I held a grudge against him keeping a sex video of his ex ( which is where our problems began ) he begged for me and I stayed . I realized now I never trusted him again and kind of held a grudge for that which is my fault . He doesn’t have any friends or family in town and he became depressed and would take it out on me . Whenever I invited him to go out he would say “why would you put me in a situation where I told you I don’t want to go out and stay in “ my family would buy him tickets and food and he would always be so mean about it . Whenever holidays came by I hung out with him so he wouldn’t feel lonely and he got annoyed when I did . So I felt rejected and it hurt when I tried to do all these nice things and he would be really mean about it . I ended up losing my feelings after the sex video and him always rejecting me like that. But I fought and communicated how hurtful he was being to me . For over 4 months it was the same thing . I made a tinder and I went on dates with guys and ended up confessing to him less than three weeks ago . He broke up with me and then A couple days later says he forgive me and wants to try again . So I give him space and only hang out when we wants . My brother and family ended up buying him tickets to lion king I told him to come see the movie with us and he told me “ am I on fucking speaker , take me off , I told you I wanted to stay in and you put me in a situation where I have to do this “ and etc he was being really disrespectful to me and my family . That’s what most of our fighting was about him being so mean when I would try to do nice things ... and other times It would be over stupid things .

But I’m not going to keep quit and let my partner treat me like that continuously . There was 4 shooters all over my city hitting malls , Walmart’s , school and grocery stores and I called to tell him to just stay home so I didn’t have to worry since he was off . He didn’t listen and go in an argument over that . And last Time we go into an argument over me trying to kiss him and trying to intimidate with him . He basically told me off and told me I was annoying . I got so upset because I was tired off that behavior . The next day we tried to fix things and ended breaking up.

I want to respect his choice and leave him alone , do whatever he wants not feel pressured because I already told him I loved him and everything on the we broke up but my family keep telling to fix things and my friends keep telling me to fix things if I love him to let go of my pride .