I know you can't read this, and who knows when I'll hear from you again. I don't think I can tell you this in real life...I know I should though. I want you to know that I am just as madly in love with you as you are with me. I'm sorry I don't show it as much...because I'm scared, scared of the present and scared of the future. I know you tell me "depression is fear of the past and anxiety is fear of the future, live in the now" but its so unbearably hard. My anxiety has taken over..I feel like I will dissapoint you and everyone around you. Why can't I climb out of this quicksand? Why can't I make myself as happy as you make me? Why don't I love myself like you love me? As much as I want to be with you right now and forever. I'm terrified. Gosh I love you