My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, and have been seeing each other for almost a year. I love him, so very much. But, as a college student that has already survived abuse, I’m terrified of being hurt. I think that’s why I am concerned with this- I’m scared that years down the road, he’ll come out (not that I won’t love him if he does) and I’ll be left, once again, trying to pick up the pieces of myself, when i noticed flags and ignored them. I don’t want to offend anyone, or hurt any body. I apologize if i do- please let me know what you think, or if i’m just overthinking.

a little bit of background on him:

he’s only ever been with one other before me. (we started dating quickly after they broke up)

he plays football.

he’s catholic, and comes from a catholic family.

why i’m concerned and unsure what to do:

one night he broke down in my arms- after i made a comment about him being gay… something along the lines of - “are you sure you aren’t gay? “with a little giggle. (disclaimer- the giggle is not to imply that i am not FULLY supportive of LGBTQ+, but simply that i was joking, and had no serious intent). He told me that he had thought he was gay before, and he felt as though he might be, because of the way he acts and thinks, but overall determines he’s not gay. When he opened up to me, i was unsure how to handle the situation. I didn’t know what to say, or feel. I told him that I support him, and if he wants to experiment I would completely let him. I told him I felt like I needed to leave his life, even if just for a little bit- so he could be with other people if he wanted to. He shut me down. He told me he just wanted to be with me, and that he knew he shouldn’t have opened up to anyone about it- but he was glad it was me.

I’d had some thoughts about it before- simply because of some stereotypical things he’s done, but i didn’t want to judge anything off stereotypes, and concluded that he’s just feminine. Since he opened up to me- I’ve been more concerned that i’m currently standing in the way of him finding out who he really is. College is typically the time for experimenting and partying or whatever- so I just want to make sure i’m not standing in the way of him living his life i guess. I began thinking more about it all, and started getting more concerned, because what if he’s just scared to come out because of his religion? What if he’s still unsure? More ‘stereotypical’ things have popped up recently- and i can’t stop wondering if i’m in the way.

I just want some advice on what to do. I hope this doesn’t come off negitivly, or in a bad sense for any reason. I’m just a girlfriend trying to do her best. If you have any questions feel free to ask.