Hello <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> Community,

So not too long ago I reconnected with a childhood friend and we just started “hanging out “ as adults last month. So far the hang outs have been pretty cool. The first hand out we went to the movies, 2nd we went to get Rita’s the sit by the Pier and talk, 3rd one we went to Cheesecake Factory, 4th one we went to see an outdoor movie, and the most recent one (yesterday) we just chilled and sat by the pier again but on a different side that was much closer and nicer. Now I’m sure your thinking, well this sounds perfect...what are you getting at? Well the thing is... I’m not really 100% sure how I feel about this guy. For one I’m 25 and he is 22. Then I’ve noticed he likes to “rough play” where he’ll playfully put his hand on my neck or pick me up so on and so fourth. He curses a lot but he did publicly state he likes to cuss...so I can’t really be mad because he was honest. Last night the vibes were really off...I’m not sure what it was but it was the quietest it’s ever been. Prior to us getting together he had a bad morning because he got a 50 dollar fine for eating in the train station..so he called me just ranting on and on and sounded extremely upset. So I took it upon myself to try and invite him out to hang with me ...for all the other hang outs he was the one to pay for everything and mainly make the suggestions. I thought I’d be nice and try to treat him this time or do something for him. I made dinner and I packed it in a container for him because he told me he threw his lunch away after getting pulled to the side by authorities. When we met up he was really grateful for it and kept saying thank you I didn’t expect this. We sat and chilled , he rough housed me some more then we were on our easy back to my place . On the way I randomly asked “So John Doe, did you like me when we were younger?” And when I tell you hat question seemed to do something to him. His whole face expression changed and I could tell he was really in his feelings a little by it. He was like seriously Jane? How could you ask me that? That’s a silly thing to ask. Why would I always want to come around you and always get super excited to see you ? We were holding hands and he let me go and just kinda walked on with me a little quietly. I then said well we were young and I wasn’t for certain how you really felt, I felt like you did...and besides I don’t remember you saying that you liked me. He then said Jane I wouldn’t still be trying to spend time with you or doing any of this if I never liked you to begin with. So I said ok well tell me, yes or no? So of course he says yes.But I could tell that the question really made him uneasy. As to be like soooo am I wasting my time here? But that’s the thing !!!! I shouldn’t have to guess. He should just be straight up honest right? That’s a mature adult way to go about liking someone. So I feel like I’m a way he’s definitely NOT that mature and I don’t feel like training anyone. But anyway he also stated last night that he wasn’t sure what this was he was just going a long with it. He didn’t know if it was friend dates, Casual hanging out, actual dates ., if it was leading to being a couple, of it was all for nothing. To me these past dates or whatever have been great , I genuinely have been enjoying my time with him. I try to suggest things that would be convenient or not very expensive so that he wouldn’t have to pay so much and a lot of my friends are like no Jane, let him pay! But anyway... I’ve been through a lot. Like I’ve been through sexual abuse, rape by two guys at the same time , dating a guy for two years and he just left me behind. All I got was a phone call telling me it’s over . Then I met this other guy who turned out to only want to have sex (f*ck boy). Then dating this other guy who was a paramedic and his unknown other women texted me at 1am to tell me to stop texting her man corny bitch. The most hurtful situation was the relationship of two years ... that broke my soul. I loved that man and put everything into it and would put myself on a limb for him.

So yes, it’s safe to say I have been through hell. I have a very hard time trusting guys and what they say. So seeing John and looking at his age and all of that. I’m like what can this guy possibly want from me? Could he really want to be in a stable committed relationship? Is he going to be mature enough? Do I like him? Does he like me still? Is he playing me ? But could he. Be? He’s been coming to see me all those days after working a 7 hour day , spending his time and money on me.....would someone who was a (f*ck boy) really take THAT much effort to be nice just to turn around and get me in bed and leave? I just don’t know . Please talk to me ☹️